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how to free yourself of the inner critic
October 2009 
pudding in the 4th dimension
Jena
Dear fellow travellers
welcome to the 4th dimension
This is a place above the clouds somewhere between Switzerland, Scotland and South Africa. I have roots in all three of these countries and so there's something sweet for you from each of them. To get your pud you have to first find the SSS portal to the forth dimension.
It's full of sudden drones, blind ferrules, blowpipes and hot air.
(maybe you could even get a driving licence for one in Switzerland!)
The trick is to find out which tube you're coming in on. There're also some hidden rabbit holes, worm holes and the like leading directly from places like the Mad hatters tea party.
Actually the bagpipe is Scotty's big secret. This is how he does his "Beam me up" trick.
I think it's called reverse 'fahrt'ing.
The 4 th dimension is also called 'the state' of being lost. It's where all your socks are. And everyone else's. So another way to get here would be via your washing machine. And whichever chute you come in on, ther'll be a big pile of coloured socks to soften your landing.
My first run in with bagpipes happened quite early in life because my mother was Scottish.
My 2 older sisters 'took' Highland dancing so I also had to. I remember my kilt coming undone halfway through a sword dance under the harsh African sun. that's when I dug my heels in and threatened to use the swords instead of dance over them if I had to keep 'taking' it. (Which is why I was quite good with the lance at brunch.)
to get you up to speed during pud.
(I made sure to choose another poor girl that hasn't learnt yet that you have to pick the thing up if you want to defend yourself. Maybe if her guardian angel makes her kilt fall off it'll help.)
to provide a little background music.
(One of the few videos in the 4thD worth watching till the very end)
(or was it his Zetetic's fault?)
This is a word revived from early sudden death by Dryad.
I think I'm going to broaden its meaning a bit by using it to describe one's inner critic.
(mark this spot Oxford dictionary scholars, it could become an historical/hysterical landmark, something similar the the spot on Lady Macbeth's hand
that she couldn't get out. Once it's in, it's in...
like the people you invite to your party without really thinking )
As I was saying, if you were wondering about the Swiss music..
it was all Scotty's Zetetic's fault for beaming them up here in the first place.
(must have been something to do with up/down/reverse 'fahrt'ing and the German language).
it's what comes with living in chocolate box scenery.
To experience the 4th dimension fully
push all the start buttons above at the same time
(I did, it was really quite something.)
Now that you're actually in the 4th dimension and in danger of being sabotaged at any minute by Scotty's Zetetic (who thinks he can understand German due to the similarity of like-sounding words) I recommend you have a short German lesson. Just the basics, in case you get lost and need to ask for the toilet (the veh-seh (WC)) or a beer or something.
The most important thing you have to know is
A beer is a beer. Wink means wave. Gift means poison!
'fahrt' means 'drive'.
And, most crucial of all: 'ab' pronounced ‘up' means ‘down'.!!
The idea of one's Zetetic biting you in ankle came from Dryad who said hers was under her desk doing this. I think we should tell all our Zetetic right up front that this party took place in what Alexandra Fuller calls AKT( African Kind Time) versus GMT (Greenwich Mean Time).
(the video of this killer tortoise refused to be posted so I put it here as a link)
pronounced ‘cook-sisters'
(cos that's what us twisted 'sisters' have been doing all day)
(okay, sorry Samme, take it as a compliment, being in touch with your feminine side.)
Koeksusters are sticky delicious deep fried things, dripping in syrup and cholestrol.
'They originated from the Malayan slaves brought to Cape Province by the European settlers. The Malays made this deep-fried spiced sweet in round balls.
The Afrikaaner version is shaped like a short, fat plait. Koeksisters dough is divided into strips with a special koeksisters cutter. It's then plaited and deep-fried. To finish, it is plunged straight from the hot oil into an icy cold sugar syrup made by simmering cinnamon sticks, glycerine, lemon juice, ginger and cream of tartar.
You can feel it sucking up the syrup as it hits the cold mixture,' says Bea. ‘Home-sick South Africans just love them.'
Koeksistes are shaped a lot like the 4th dimension. But with a twist.
If you stay in Switzerland too long, you'll find yourself growing something similar around your head. A long fat plait, traditionally used to protect oneself from the ubiquitous sound of cowbells before ear muffs were invented.
Trading plaits for tartan and sporrans
(if you don't know what a sporran is, it has the opposite underneath it it what you'll find if you lifted the queen's skirts during Enlightened Thinker's medieval brunch ...or maybe not, given the more common use of the word 'queen'.))
Tea wouldn't be tea without something to go with the bagpipes
So I specially baked some hot cream scones
and as for desert from Switzerland....
I decided to cook with my credit card
I decided to reverse'fahrt' forwards and backwards in time
(that's what the 4th D is for, it's an extra gear that helps you escape your inner
Zetetic. ) Because when I got to Ayla's happy hour and saw the death by chocolate
I decided to 'borrow' the whole plate and bring it back to the 4thd where it belongs.
(I had quite a lot to drink there and wasn't thinking responsibly)
Puddding was getting a bit staid here anyway, needed to be rescued by the Americans..
Well that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. Churchill did it in the 2nd WW so why can't I?)
There was a karmic backlash of course because Ayla's cocktail gatecrashers
came back with half her booze and there was a bit of a bun fight (you can read all about it at the end of this blog...)
Apparently once you've filled your pockets with this loot you've got a magic carpet ride to catch to Siesta, resting besides the pool.
twisted sisters
KOEKSUSTERS Recipe
The syrup - to be made the day before and left in the fridge to cool.
Ingredients
6 cups of water
24g of root ginger
2.5kg granulated sugar
Method
Boil 3 cups of water with the peeled and sliced root ginger. Remove the ginger and add 3 more cups of water. Bring to boil again. Add the sugar and allow to boil for 5 minutes. Allow to cool and store in fridge. NB - it has to be in the fridge as you need your syrup to be chilled!
For the pastry:
Ingredients
6 cups plain flour
6 teaspoons baking powder
125g of butter
2 eggs
125ml evaporated milk
312ml lukewarm water
a pinch of salt
oil for frying
Mix all the above together and knead well, then leave to rest for 2 hours. Roll the dough flat into an oval/square until it is 5mm thick. Cut the dough into strips 2.5cm across. Then cut these strips into lengths of 6cm so that you are left with rectangles 2.5cm x 6cm Make two cuts along the length of the rectangles so that you can plait them - you are aiming for a plait similar to a 3-strand hair plait. When you have plaited each one, press the three strands together firmly at each end so that they do not come undone. Deep-fry each koeksuster in hot oil until crisp and golden brown. Remove with a slotted spoon and dip the whole cooked koeksuster immediately into your cool syrup. Remember - the koeksuster has to be hot and the syrup cold in order for the syrup to be absorbed by the dough! Remove from the syrup and allow to cool on a paper towels before eating.
a final pudding video
(you don't have to watch the whole thing. I just liked the devil and angel costumes.
Nuts about pudding
How to free yourself of Zetetics
Actually I think these devil/angel costumes are the solution to our Zetetics (inner critics)
We should dress ours up in ridiculous costumes then we won't take them seriously anymore.
I propose a snapping killer tortoise (with a desk instead of a shell) for Dryad.
My Zetetic currently looks like the old guy at the end of the
Balls out Jeans ad
but I think it's time for an update.....
Access: Public
Scones AND swiss chocolate?
Have I died and gone to heaven???
Ah! Here I am, I think. …or is it yesterday?
I’m not sure. This might be the fourth dimension, or maybe it’s the back of my closet? Where’s the light? OK, oh look! An unfinished candy bar. I’ll save it. The chocolates and koeksusters are so much better. Mmmmm. Pudding! And the guys from the Ricola commercials are here, too! What a fun group!
Thanks for all your work in creating the pudding stop in the 4th dimension. If you ask me, pudding always tastes better in the 4th dimension.
You do great work on the pictures and text. I wish I could do stuff like that. Bravo!!! :)
Oh Jena, you have gifted me with such lovely images and reminded me of that wonderful 4th dimensional energy in Suisse. Yes, I lived near Lausanne briefly in the early 70's and the tinkling of the bells at night that would put me to sleep; no screens on the windows because there were no bugs; the jogging forests; families taking walks in the park after tea; everyone walking everywhere; the air so clear that a deep breath was exhilarating and the landscape pristine. The chocolate was from off planet and it was Divine as was the yogurt and the scones! I have such fond memories of Suisse that will be with me in the afterlife! Oh, JOY!!! And Ode to Joy!!! How fun!!! I love Darth Vader playing the bagpipes, too! And your sense of humor!!! I still get a kick out of you flattening Aley's lance. I can understand your young self refusing to do the sword dance! I am lovin' this party!!! Thank you for such fun!!! And for taking me on a trip down memory lane! Now I am curious about what my fingerprints say that I came to do…I am still figuring out that one!!!
What fun going to the fourth dimension! I loved all of the cool pics and the Twisted Sisters video was such a fun grand finale!
Thank you!
Ayla
Jena! What a delicious romp through the 4th Dimension … !!! I am loving the bag-pipe players, the sword dance (great images both here and in my head!!!) and the food!!!
I can see why you and Dryad have hit it off! You are both absolutely genious of the looney and gooney kind! My kind of peep!
I sure hope you are able to join us back on your earthly continent, the lovely country of Portugal - for our after midnight festivities… come early as I've transporting myself back and forth throughout all of the events all day! I sure hope Dryad is out from under her desk and will be joining us all!
Thanks for this glorious treat!
peridot
Jena, the Star Wars Bagpiper was the best! And the African singers!!!
Also loved the German lesson. This is precisely what happened to me when I first moved to Stuttgart.
Hope you've had as much fun today as I have. Much love to you and thanks for the 4th Dimension tour!
Cream Scones Now! I told Scotty to beam me up some Cream Scones and he just looked guilty and licked his fingers. Do you suppose he has eaten all the cream scones in the WORLD, so there just AREN'T any more!?
I'll bet there are some in the fourth dimension. What a wild and wonderful ride!
I love the sound of the pipes, there were pipers at my Daddy's funeral who came to “Pipe him home” rather than it making me sad, I just hear that beautiful thought in the sound of the pipes.
I think, I'm going to have to go find some chocolate now …
the 4th D just changed shape again to accomodate the word Zetetic (I have to keep visiting Dryad to see how it's spelt. Hope it's right this time….
see you all later at your venues…
Jena,
Hey, I'm visiting everyone again this morning! OMZ - Balls our Jeans? ROFL!!! You funny funny lady. That was gross!
:0) Ayla
Hee Hee, I hit all the buttons even before you told us to, it was a round, a kaleidoscope of sound, what a hoot! Still getting the pudding out of crevices from pudding wrestling the other day, I think I lost my wings, did anybody see them? And oh, yes, did I win by the way?
of course you did! being the only one here with a misspent youth (otherwise called streetwise pratical experience)!
but the disadvantages of winning is that you don't have time to clean out your crevices before someone else comes along to wrestle you for your crown. Unless you were lucky enough for Ayla's gatecrashers to 'borrow' your crown and spirit it off to the 16th century in the hopes that they might have been able to trade it in for a peek under the queen's skirts.
Considering the fact that you still have one toe in the pud, I propose we start a great pudding wrestling challenge starting in any of the party venues of your choice. We'll use Scotty and the 4th D to transport the pudding pool to your desired location. You choose your next opponent. The winner gets to call the next contenstant by shouting out to them from the pudding pool….